Pay attention so you remember your “why”

Last week I sat with my friend Rachel at breakfast distraught because my blog post updates didn’t save; I lost everything.  Obsessing over not having a blog post up a second week in a row, anxiety began to rise as I stressed over when I would be able to rewrite the whole post—not until Friday at the earliest, but more than likely not until the following week.  I continued my anxious-ridden rant about how I had written about paying attention.  Paying attention to what my body was saying, paying attention to life, paying attention to circumstances, paying attention to situations.  Within paying attention, we must be willing to listen.   

Then I realized, I wasn’t listening.  I wasn’t listening to this situation.  Maybe I wasn’t supposed to post that content that week. I had gotten to a point where blogging weekly was stressing me out, creating discontentment in my life. It wasn’t helping me thrive. I was writing just to write.  I don’t want to write content just to write content by a certain deadline that I’ve placed on myself. Unfortunately, that is what the blog has started to become.

I want to write to inspire.  Lead. Educate. Influence. Impact.  Provoke dialogue…if I wanted to write just to write, I can do that for myself in my journal.

Whatever it is in life you do, just don’t do it for the sake of doing it.  Remember your why.  

My blog post frequency is changing; I’ve released myself from that expectation. So, my next post will be in about a month when I write about the importance of creating a healthier balance in our social media.  I’ve realized lately, this area of my life has started to become a hindrance in my ability to fully thrive.  On April 1st, I started an “experiment” for myself when it comes to my interaction and investment on my social media pages.

I was inspired to create a healthier habit around my social media because of 2 recent interactions.

  1. I went to Irvington a couple weekends ago to visit with my good friend Joey, his wife Casey, my friend Olivia, and her husband Trent. Four people I haven’t seen since this past fall. As we walked down the sidewalk, both Joey and Casey realized they didn’t have their phones on them.  They didn’t stress.  Didn’t say we needed to turn around to get their phones.  Didn’t freak out about not having the phones on them the next couple hours; they just shrugged. Joey said it didn’t matter, everyone that mattered in that moment was there with them, so they didn’t need their phones (whereas, I had already checked my Instagram about 3-4 times since being at their house).
  2. A friend came to hangout for lunch before leaving for a couple weeks.  Most of the time he was on his phone having to respond to social media posts.  The time he was there to spend with me he chose to invest in his social media instead.  It couldn’t wait an hour.  And although it made me a bit sad, I couldn’t be mad about it.  I’m just as guilty.

I’m guilty of investing in my social media world over investing in the present moments.  Guilty of not paying attention when I am around other friends and family.  Guilty of feeling the need to have access to the world within my phone instead of being in the world that’s around me.  It has started to suffocate instead of providing a space for me to thrive.

After I’ve taken time to discover and start developing a healthy, balanced habit when it comes to my social media, I’ll blog about it. Blog about where my relationship with social media was and how disciplining myself to find balance impacts my life.