#transformationtuesday: a trend across social media for others to share with the world something that has changed. I rarely participated in the trend—maybe because I never thought any of my progress worth the acknowledgement. Here we are though, my transformation Tuesday edition. For the past 28 days I have worked towards discovering my fit and my healthy by examining the foods that my body can process to function at its optimal level. I am not where I want to be yet, physically, but have made great strides in my fitness, just by adjusting my nutrition to fit my body’s needs. Just nutrition. My workouts didn’t increase or change. I didn’t take any miracle “diet” pills. I just embraced a nutrition change. So I posted my results on Instagram for #transformationtuesday to show that discipline and progress take time, and this is all part of my fit, my healthy, my happy journey (which is 7 years in the making, not just the past 28 days) I posted to show that a change in mindset and attitude can pay off.
It was surprisingly easy for me to post this transformation because it is tangible. It can be seen. It can be noticed. A person on the outside can observe the change. All that is great if you want to receive kudos or show encouragement to someone who may need it that day, but true transformation isn’t always tangible. It isn’t always physical. Yet that is the form of transformation we tend to only express because we are drawn towards what we can see, what is comfortable, what we know.
Humans tend not to like the difficult; we travel the path that is easiest because it is comfortable and more convenient for us. Just because it is an easier path, doesn’t mean it is the best path. I like the easy path. Recently, a situation with a friend in my life caused me to make a choice: take the easy path and only scratch the surface level or take the difficult path and choose to embrace the ugliness that developed when I lost focus on the other aspects of transformation: the ones unseen.
The situation needed to dissipate. It had run its course, but I still clung on. I held on because I knew if it ended, I would have to face the one person I had been avoiding for months. The one person I didn’t want to confront.
I would have to confront my convictions that I had pushed to the side. I’d have to confront my inner voices of shame, rejection, and “not good enough” telling me lies. I’d have to confront my own motivations and attitude. I could no longer avoid confronting my past hurts and disappointments from friendships that grew toxic—friendships that ended up harboring bitterness and resentment instead of healing and trust because I was left feeling foolish from them not being upfront and honest. Letting go of the situation meant I’d have to examine my core and finally find a way to harbor understanding, peace, and joy instead. Gross. That is the hard path. I don’t want to take it. (Insert stomping toddler-like behavior with a whining “I don’t wanna” here).
So I focused mainly on my outward transformation and that would be enough, right? If I keep focusing on this, the other part will just go away. A new outside will fix everything. Wrong.
You can transform the outside all you want. Change it to appeal to whomever you want to notice. Adjust it to seek approval from others, but if you don’t transform your heart and your mindset as well, you’re going to lose sight of you.
It’s kind of like hard boiling an egg. I suck at hard boiling eggs. The egg might look adequate on the outside, but if you didn’t take time to focus on the surroundings and the process for hard boiling, the shell chips away chunks of the egg you thought was secure. Not being properly focused on the egg might result in a firm shell but a runny mess inside. An egg not thoughtfully cooked might result in a yolk that comes out too dry. Both scenarios are not suitable for a strong hard boiled egg. Experience after experience, I only looked at the egg after I thought it was finished boiling. Experience after experience chunks of me still chipped away because I never took the time to look at the process. I never took time to focus on what my core needed. I lost sight of the process because that meant I would have to get uncomfortable. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like uncomfortable.
Transformation involves going towards the uncomfortable. It involves going towards something out of your comfort zone, something new, something you may not want to face, but need to in order to progress and not regress.
Transformation can be scary. It can be challenging. It can be freeing. It can be amazing.
You won’t know if you don’t take the time to focus on the whole. Physical, emotional, and mental transformations are all entwined. Fail to look at one piece of it, and you will end up right back where you started, wondering how you allowed this to happen again, asking yourself why you didn’t learn your lesson the last time. My journey is about progression not regression, so I am making a change. I could choose to fall back into my familiar relationship with my feelings and harbor resentment and bitterness because once again, I felt foolish. Instead I choose to focus on overcoming insecurities, examining my true motives, and learning about my self-love because focusing on the negative instead of embracing the ache and finding the positive in the situation will only hinder my fit, my healthy, and my happy.